Ending an engagement is a painful ordeal. There is the embarrassment of telling friends and family that it didn't work out, the financial woes if money has already been spent on the wedding and, of coarse, what to do with the expensive ring.

Although an engagement ring is generally looked upon as a gift, if the woman calls off the engagement, proper etiquette says she should at least offer to return the ring. If the ring was passed on by a family member of the groom-to-be's, she should definitely return the ring to the family, as well as if it is an heirloom of her own family.

When a groom-to-be breaks the engagement, the rules of etiquette are a bit different. Because the ring is a gift and a promise of marriage, when he breaks that promise it is bad form to ask for the gifts given during the relationship back. The woman may want to give the ring back so as to not be reminded of the break-up or if the break-up is amicable, she may give it back to be nice.

Disputes over engagement rings do sometimes end up in court, especially if the ring was purchased by both the man and woman. Consulting with an attorney may be the best option to find what your legal recourse may be if a dispute over an engagement ring does occur.