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Do we take weddings seriously enough in the US?
11:08:22 pm on December 18, 2009 | by bianca |
50% divorce rate
all states allow minors to get married, and some don’t even have minimum marriage age
in Nevada, two strangers can meet and get married in a couple of hours.
There’s a TV show called "My Big Fat Redneck Wedding" where couples try to desing the tackiest, least form weddings
It’s acceptable to have wedding cake toppers showing the groom trying to escape or being shackled to a ball and chain as if he’s getting married under duress and doesn’t really want to get married.
TAlex88 11:08 pm on December 18, 2009 |
Good question! I personally don’t think many people take marriage seriously. Many people think a wedding is just a party. But I think getting married means for life. I don’t like those wedding toppers that you mentioned, or those red-neck wedding shows either. It should be a serious day and the most important day of your life! And people aren’t willing to put enough into a relationship (marriage) that they want out of it. [i.e. They want it to be perfect or whatever but they don't put forth the effort.] It’s hard work and I think people should take it more seriously.
daVIDica 11:08 pm on December 18, 2009 |
It’s ok to put a humorous twist on the wedding but the MARRIAGE is what does need to be taken seriously. Big difference there, homes.
answerman288 11:08 pm on December 18, 2009 |
the term "death do us part" is just words that people are giving lip service in the modern wedding. today’s married couples think the first argument is grounds for divorce. Didn’t anyone tell these kids about "make up sex"?
Amanda 11:08 pm on December 18, 2009 |
You’re stereotyping people in the United States. While some people treat marriage as a joke, others take it very seriously. I for one think that marriage is one of the biggest decisions you can make in your life, and I intend on making sure I do it right the first (and only) time.
I would like to add this: Divorce has become too easy, and too well accepted. Fifty years ago divorce was practically taboo. Children grow up in our society thinking that divorce is ok and is almost expected. I think couples should spend more time trying to fix their relationship as opposed to seeing a lawyer the second something goes wrong. The only things that would make me divorce my husband immediately would be infidelity or abuse of myself or our children.
monmichka 11:08 pm on December 18, 2009 |
I have a problem with the 50% divorce rate. The TV stuff is just a joke.
Personally, I don’t want a big, huge formal wedding when I get married. I like simplicity and that’s what I want. Weddings aren’t a big deal to me and spending $30,000 on that one day, to me seems ludicrous.
ArmyGirlfriend 11:08 pm on December 18, 2009 |
When I’ve watched My Big Redneck Wedding they did do some thing I wouldn’t, but if that’s how they want their wedding to go and if that’s how they live their life then so be it. I think that as long as you take the actual vows seriously and the marriage that’s what matters. A wedding doesn’t have to be formal or anything. It’s just the act or ceremony of marrying. People celebrate it in different ways.
No, I don’t agree with the divorce rate and people marrying after knowing each other a few hours. Yes, that I believe is wrong.
Princess W 11:08 pm on December 18, 2009 |
I’m personally glad that all states allow minors to get married. I got married at 17 so I’m glad it was possible. As long as the minor has their parent’s consent and blessing, why does it matter to you? At least minors can’t just run off and get married!
I do think the wedding topper thing is kind of dumb, but hey, it’s up to the bride and groom if they want to add that in.
My husband and I have been married for 18 months and are really happy. So we’re not in the statistics that most young marriages end in divorce. We’re very happy together and are more happy every day!
EDIT: We also didn’t have a big huge, 20 or 30 thousand dollar wedding. We spent $5000 and had our dream wedding! I don’t have a problem with people wanting formal weddings, but we just didn’t have that kind of money and didn’t feel it was necessary.
Mrs. N™ - I miss my boy 11:08 pm on December 18, 2009 |
I think most see Divorce as an out, "well if it doesnt work out we can always get a divorce". That simply stems from the lack of morals in this country these days.
I’m young, only 23, but I see marriage as a life time promise. When my husband and I got married two years ago neither of us saw divorce as an out, we were in it for life. And trust me we have been through a LOT, most couples would have given up within the first year. But I made a promise and I tend to stick with it, for better or for worse.
littlemisswho 11:08 pm on December 18, 2009 |
I think that we do not take marriage seriously enough. I think that part of the problem is that we do take WEDDINGS to seriously! We put some much emphasis on this one day, that very often the actual marriage, which is supposed to last til death, is not the focus. Pre-marital counseling should be more important, and couples should be more open to going to couples therapy. Too many people want to give up after the "honeymoon" stage is over, yet sometimes they will spend thousands and sometimes millions of dollars on the one day to play dress up. I’m not saying that weddings aren’t lovely traditions, I just believe they are over emphasized.
lady jane 11:08 pm on December 18, 2009 |
Personally, I think divorce is taught to kids at an early age. Yes, it’s easy to get a divorce, but allowing your child to have a boyfriend at age 13? That’s obviously not a long-term commitment and they’re just learning how to build walls around their hearts.
I think if we taught our children to take relationships seriously and that love wasn’t something you fall into at 13 yrs. old, we might have a more sober view of marriage. There might be more people who see the weight of the commitment they’re making when they say "till death."
Divorce is an easy way out, and has been ever since the no-fault became acceptable. It used to be that you had to actually commit a serious offense against your spouse to have grounds for divorce, and thus a shameful thing.
Adrianne 11:08 pm on December 18, 2009 |
I think some people take weddings TOO seriously in most cases. Young ladies get wedding fever and start pressuring thier men into buying them diamonds so they can plan their own party.
Most of the couples I know with the strongest marriages spent the least (if any) money on a one-day party.
It’s about the marriage, not the wedding!! And I think the examples that you give actually support my sentiment - those are ridiculous wedding examples, but they show that the priority for the couples is the wedding itself, not so much the future.
zeureeka 11:08 pm on December 18, 2009 |
I think a lot of people take weddings too seriously (bankrupting themselves to have a "perfect" day, making their bridesmaids look like clones, etc).
It’s the marriage that too many people don’t take seriously, and that’s something crosses into all countries, not just the US.
JayneDoe 11:08 pm on December 18, 2009 |
Marriage isn’t taken very seriously! The vows are just words that are
"required" to be said in front of a bunch of people that are expected to lavish the couple with gifts… and when-ever you decide to, children or no children, you can get a divorce and rejoin the "singles" league! AND, if you’re SO FORTUNATE as to be CATHOLIC, you can get your marriage annulled… so it’s as if it NEVER EVEN HAPPENED in the eyes of THE CHURCH!!! that’s right, even if children are a product of the marriage itself! (unbelievable huh?) oh well…
Balooba 11:08 pm on December 18, 2009 |
We take weddings TOO seriously. It is the marriage people don’t take seriously. I want my wedding day to be relaxed and fun. I do want the funny cake toppers, and funny slide shows. But does that mean I’m not serious about my marriage? NO! And those redneck weddings, are JUST weddings! Who cares!? That has nothing to do with love and commitment. And as for minors getting married, some people ARE ready to get married young. What’s it to you? And if they meet hours before, and get married in Vegas, it CAN work. In fact, my parents met on Monday, and were married on Tuesday. And as far as your stereotypical judgements go, they ARE still married. After 35 years. Some people want the marriage more than the wedding. Some people don’t care what others think. Clearly you only see what’s skin deep.
Sahara 11:08 pm on December 18, 2009 |
It seems to be a big business. Gay marriage is a hot issue. I think it’s more of a reflection of our society and culture. People are stressed because of unrealistic expectations. Nothing can just be. We have to tweak it and tweak it. Generally speaking, you are probably right. But as far as individuals go, there are still people in it for the long haul that are mature and loving. I’ve been married almost 3 years - my first and I hope my only marriage. I’m in it for good and bad times. It is.
I wish society would chill and let people just be. Release some pressure and stress to be perfect all of the time. We can’t do it.
Weddings - they can be too crazy and too precise. It shouldn’t be exclusively about the bride. But I have to say that some mothers can drive you crazy - not that I would know (eyes rolling around the room). I’m sure they mean well but sometimes you have to know when to let things go.
science chick 11:08 pm on December 18, 2009 |
We take weddings TOO seriously, we need to focus on the marriage.
Daigsmommy 11:08 pm on December 18, 2009 |
In my opinion I think that most woman want the wedding not what comes after. They just want the big fancy extravagant wedding. They are not really interested in the commitment that comes after the i dos’