• Engagement ring question (unique creative answers needed)?

    01:04:10 am on December 10, 2009 | by bianca |
    Tags: , ,

    My boyfriend got me a very beautiful promise ring for christmas the link below is where you can go to view my ring..

    http://www.zales.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2427504&cp=2109134&categoryId=2109134&parentPage=search&searchId=20947714394

    my boyfriend got the ring on sale for approx 600 dollars. Being the kind of girl i am (no at all greedy) i feel the ring was good enough to be an engagement ring. His only reason for not proposing with it was that he felt i would think it was not expencive enough…COme on now a SIX HUNDRED DOLLAR PROMISE RING !! who needs a promise ring that expensive.

    Ok well any way the reason i am on her is b/c i told him there is no need to spend alot of money on an engagement ring when i love my promise ring…he feels a little funny about just proposing to me with a ring he gave to me as a promise ring (even though he would have proposed if he had felt like it was good enough) What shoud he do that doesnt envolve alot of money??

     

Answers

  • duritzgirl4 1:04 am on December 10, 2009 |

    Tell him that if he is ready to propose, he can propose without a new ring. All he needs to do is set up the place and time and ask you. Insist that you don’t need a new ring.

    If you take away the excuse of holding out for a better ring, you will know whether or not he is ready to propose. If he is, he’ll do it. If not, he’ll find another excuse not to propose. Don’t rush him or pressure him.

  • danzahn 1:04 am on December 10, 2009 |

    Get you a burger and coke? He didn’t propose becasue he didn’t want to, not because he is emabarrassed about a ring. What are you getting him? I don’t understand the need for engagement rings anymore. Its just a waste of money, in my opinion. Why does the man have to buy some expensive ring, what does he get in return? I’d be all about buying the ring if it entitles me to sex 2 times a day everyday for the rest of my life, but we all know thats a pipe dream.

  • megskathy 1:04 am on December 10, 2009 |

    my engagement ring cost about half that. i would recommend he give you something else…maybe not even a ring. something like some earrings (not super expensive) just as a gesture, and asking you to marry him then. so he’s still asking you and giving you something, but you can always tell other people the ring is your engagement ring or even the whole sweet story of your engagement. or return the ring and pick out something else that you choose and he can give that one to you. or find a ring online or in a resale shop.

  • mrszorola 1:04 am on December 10, 2009 |

    I say, let him buy you a new engagement ring.

    Here’s why:
    1) Most engagement rings are made to match with the wedding band. If you keep this current promise ring, you may have some trouble finding a wedding band to match perfect.
    2) You can keep the promise ring as a ring to one day give your own daughter for maybe a Sweet 16 or something.

  • Church Music Girl 1:04 am on December 10, 2009 |

    Maybe he could find a partner ring for it? I don’t know how expensive custom designs are, but it would be pretty to have your wedding band on one side of your promise ring and an engagement ring on the other side. Maybe he could get them so they would match and you’d have a stacking set.

  • ericams85 1:04 am on December 10, 2009 |

    i would personally just tell him that the money is not what is important it’s the meaning behind it. if he wants to get you another ring let him but tell him that he should do it when he is ready and with what he can afford. do go into debt over it. good luck)

  • la428282 1:04 am on December 10, 2009 |

    Maybe he could upgrade your promise ring and add a bigger stone in the middle? thatd be kinda cool

  • Rachel 1:04 am on December 10, 2009 |

    If he feels more comfortable waiting and giving you an different ring as an engagement ring, why not let him? You two are together and dedicated to eachother, so let him wait and propose to you like he wants to. A man (generally) only proposes once, so if the engagement ring will make it special for him, let him save up and buy you one.

  • Maria b 1:04 am on December 10, 2009 |

    An engagemenrt ring should equal two months of his salary-that is the rule of thumb. Since you will be wearing an engagement ring for a lifetime hold out for the bigger ring, maybe he isn’t ready to propose just yet anyway. Let the promise ring be just that.

  • Blunt 1:04 am on December 10, 2009 |

    This is a PROMISE ring.

    When he is ready to get engaged, he will actually propose to you. It’s not about the ring honey, he is just not ready to ask you for marriage yet.

    What’s he is TRYING to tell you is that a promise is going to do for now until further notice.

    Don’t push it sista! It’s a promise ring and leave it at that!

  • amore917 1:04 am on December 10, 2009 |

    what he could do is take the ring, get it engraved (without you knowing) and propose to you at a restaurant or where ever he wants. that way you are still getting the ring with an added bonus.

  • 2Birdsw/1Stone 1:04 am on December 10, 2009 |

    Is this his first excuse for not proposing to you or just another one in the line of many? Everybody knows promise rings are another attempt to prolong a marriage but keep the sex. If he seems genuine, tell him you will say no if he proposes with an engagement ring. If it seems like just another excuse, he’s waiting for you to break up with him.

  • Eric 1:04 am on December 10, 2009 |

    Don’t belive that BS that an engagement ring has to be two months salary. That’s a marketing gimick the jewelry industry came up with to presure people into spending more money. It’s not how much money he spends but what the ring represents. That being said…I agree with MrsZorola. The engagement ring should match your wedding band, both of which you will wear the rest of your life. Hold out for a proper engagement ring and you both will be glad you did in the future.

  • butterflydiva829 1:04 am on December 10, 2009 |

    propose with that ring….it would be "free" and you want it as an engagement ring anyway so all is well and good. My engagement ring cost $185 and is very pretty/simple. I think your ring is really pretty. If he wanted he could buy an enhancment for that ring, but then again you dont want too much bling bling with the wedding band as well. I think he should just propose with that ring though.

  • ERK 1:04 am on December 10, 2009 |

    Pah schmah that an engagement should cost two months’ salary and needs to be a brand new, expensive item! Good for you that you are sensible and down-to-earth! I don’t see any reason why the ring you have, which was given to you as a promise ring, can’t also serve as your engagement ring. It would have all the more sentimental value that way, and sentimental value is way more important than monetary value in engagement rings.

    My fiance is similar to yours: he thought I should have an expensive ring because I’m worth it (I am!–ha!) and he wants to show how much he loves me. I know how much he loves me without blowing thousands of dollars on a ring. My engagement ring is a family heirloom that his mother left to him when she died in the hope that he would someday marry. It’s a beautiful art-deco-style ring, with three small diamonds across a carved band. The diamonds are pretty, but small. He wanted to take the ring and have the diamonds re-set with a big diamond into a new band. I told him he’s crazy. The ring is beautiful as it is, and it’s the only direct connection I have to his mother, whom I’ve never met. This ring means more to me than anything he could buy. In fact, I’m going to use it as my wedding ring, too, rather than buying another band.

    So, if I can have my engagement ring double as a wedding ring, you can have a promise ring double as an engagement ring. Congratulations on your impending engagement and best wishes to both of you!

  • newbie wife 6/16/07 1:04 am on December 10, 2009 |

    i did not get a promise ring. My engagement ring was probably 150+

    to me It didint matter if it cost 10- or 10,000

    as long as i received his promise to a marriage and his want for my companionship, affection, friendship, and love, that was all i needed.

    besides honey, the wedding will bring some expenses not to mention your rent, utilities, bills, appliances, etc. sure you get it from gifts, but dont think expenses wont begin to pile up.

    If you are in love with your ring then good for you. Create your own tradition and dont be so panicky about following the crowd. It’s your finger, your life, your future hubby.

    He could take your current ring and engrave your engagement day or both of your names, that way it will be like a new ring, or a ring with a new accesory. Good luck!

    p.s. beautiful ring, shows that he has great taste.

  • no_frills 1:04 am on December 10, 2009 |

    He can propose with the wedding band.

  • Scarlett 1:04 am on December 10, 2009 |

    Thats a very beautiful promise ring. Some men feel pressured by whatever reason it is that the ring has to be expensive, etc. - society is the biggest factor. Personally I had a black onyx engagement ring, which I thought was beautiful and people were put off by it… anyhoo…

    If he want’s to do something, he can buy you a pair of earrings, or just upgrade the center ring into an engagement ring. An uncle of mine gave a promise ring to his fiance, and then upgrated her birthstone (which was the stone setting) to a diamond.

  • Fstop11 1:04 am on December 10, 2009 |

    It was DeBeers actually that started the 2 months of salary thing as a marketing ploy to sell more. You don’t want to go into huge debt over a ring because whether you have a $600 ring or a $14,000 ring, it means the same. And my engagement ring didn’t come with a wedding band. We had a jeweler make a "tracer" for me that would fit with it and had 5 small diamonds in it and it didn’t cost that much either. So find a ring you like and worry about the wedding band later.

    That said, let you boyfriend know that you arn’t greedy and tell him the promise ring will work, but respect that he may still want to wait and get you an actual engagement ring. Guys are funny like that. If he has a reason for waiting then don’t badger him about it and respect it! Regardless of what he does he has chosen you and that much is obvious by the fact he gave you a promise ring.

    If the price of the ring was the real issue then he could get the ring engraved and think up a really awesome way to propose to you. Obviously you will know it is coming if he takes the ring away. Or he could give you some other piece of jewelry that you can wear on your wedding day.

    Just be patient and keep loving him. He is yours, you don’t need to rush to the alter now. Show him you support him and respect his decision and he will love you all the more for it.

  • Lydia 1:04 am on December 10, 2009 |

    Well, you have to go with what his intentions were. He had to know it wasn’t a ‘promise ring’, unless you are high schoolers just going steady. Plus, they don’t look like engagement rings.
    You’ve already told him how you felt - so you have lobbed the ball back into his court - so now you wait to see if he asks you to marry him. Him doing or not doing that has nothing to do with the ring….

  • its about time 1:04 am on December 10, 2009 |

    First, since you two seem to be so willing to talk about it, ask him if he wants to marry you…I realize that is what the promise ring is for, but get a better idea of if he wants to get married soon or be engaged but simply doesn’t feel he has the money for a good ring, or if he just wants to promise that someday he’ll propose and someday you’ll get married. If its the first, then explain to him that you love the ring and you’d prefer that just be your engagment ring…then why don’t you just suggest a romantic weekend…go to the beach or a bed and breakfast or just go to the same place you had your first date and have him propose…but that may seem strange b/c you’ll be telling him how to propose. Why not propose to him if you KNOW he wants to marry you? It isn’t unheard of. If he says SOMEDAY he wants to get married, then let your promise ring be just that…a promise for the future. Remember, it isn’t about the ring, its about the marriage…while 2 months salary is "normal" or "the rule" you don’t have to feel confined by that…and try to convey that to your man :)

  • LoveWithNoBoundaries 1:04 am on December 10, 2009 |

    Let him wait and propose to you when he is ready. Even if he is ready now, let him plan the engagement so that you have a story to tell people when they ask how you got engaged. If you love the promise ring, he can propose with a band of diamonds to wear on one side of the ring and then you can get a matching band of diamonds to wear as a wedding ring on the other side. That is a very nice promise ring, that type of ring is also sometimes used as an anniversary band, but let him pick a ring he feels comfortable giving you as an engagement ring, when he feels comfortable giving it to you, or adding on to that one, if you truly love it.

  • imagine0218 1:04 am on December 10, 2009 |

    I’m sorry, I think promise rings are silly. "I promise to one day ask you to marry me?" Come on. If you love your man enough, you don’t need a ring to know he want to ask you to marry him. I’d be disappointed if this ring didn’t come with a question. Though, if this is the promise ring, all I can say if the engagement ring is going to be huge!

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