• What are your thoughts on non-diamond engagement/wedding rings?

    09:04:51 pm on December 26, 2009 | by bianca |
    Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

    Given the problems with diamonds (unethical sourcing, inhumane conditions in diamond mining, human abuse, etc.), I really don’t like the idea of a diamond ring. It just seems unethical to me (no offense if you have one, this is just my personal view.)

    What are other options? My concern is that since our culture is so used to associating diamonds with weddings/engagements, that most people would not even recognize a non-diamond ring for what it was (engagement, wedding, etc.)

    Heck - I like emeralds better anyway - I love green!

    Anybody else feel this way? What would your solutions be?

     

Answers

  • Ameena 9:04 pm on December 26, 2009 |

    Go to http://kvetch.indiebride.com/index.php?t=msg&th=22627&start=0&rid=0&S=8770fb05bcfe23689e2ac5f915a53b73

    You can see all sorts of engagement rings, with all sorts of stones :) I told my fiance I wanted an amethyst or opal (he gave me a diamond heirloom ring, but I still love it for it’s sentimentality). I gave him a sapphire engagement ring.

    If you want diamonds, there are eco-friendly, social-friendly diamonds out there. I personally like colors more. Heck, my dress will be colored!

    If you have a ring on that finger, most people will think it as an engagement ring, so I wouldn’t worry about it. Anyone who says it has to be a diamond is pretty shallow.

    Are you a bodhisattva? Namaste to you :)

  • spammerz85 9:04 pm on December 26, 2009 |

    I never thought about it that way but hey if you want a different kind of ring then get that. It’s your ring so better to get something you want and like.

  • julie s 9:04 pm on December 26, 2009 |

    who cares what other people will look at it like…

    i have a wedding ring and has no diamonds in it… i wouldnt want that anyways, its not my style..

    and my engagement ring has the fake diamonds..

    get what ever you like and will want to wear..
    its something you wear for the rest of your lives…

  • Orange Kitty 9:04 pm on December 26, 2009 |

    I’m traditional….for me it’s a diamond or bust.

    ***I love all the thumb downs…I’m just being honest.

    Emeralds are my favorite, just not for an engagement ring.

  • lalala 9:04 pm on December 26, 2009 |

    A lot of people are using other stones in place of diamonds. It’s a matter of personal preference.

    I think an emerald ring would make a great engagement ring…my favorite color is green so I may be biased :)

  • melissa 9:04 pm on December 26, 2009 |

    how about no engagement ring and just a gold or silver band when you get married

  • untamed_soul 9:04 pm on December 26, 2009 |

    I totally agree. I’m not one for jewelry much anyways but if I did wear a wedding ring, I wouldn’t be comfortable wearing a diamond in it.

    My brother’s wedding ring is simply a titanium band with some nice detail to it. The same goes for my sister-in-law’s ring which has a more celtic design to it.

    I say it is totally up to you how you signify your wedlock and the eternal happiness you feel with your companion.

  • Average Joe 9:04 pm on December 26, 2009 |

    Wedding rings don’t usually have diamonds so I wouldn’t worry about them. There really is no policy what type of gem to use for your engagement ring. if you don’t want a diamond ring, then don’t get one.

  • Angela O 9:04 pm on December 26, 2009 |

    I wanted a sapphire engagement ring in the worst way - couldn’t find one suitable though. We ended up finding a beautiful diamond (no offence taken) that I am happy with.

    If that is what you want, go for it. Really, who cares what anyone else says?!?!

  • Sum1Spcl 9:04 pm on December 26, 2009 |

    opal when in the right place setting can be just as beautiful or better then a diamond ring. And there is always CZ.

    http://www.jewelrybygemstone.com/Web%20Site%20Pictures/Web%20Site%20Pictures%20E/14K%20Heart%20Opal%20Ring.JPG

    http://shop.avon.com/shop/assets/images/prod/PROD_0365599_LG.gif

    http://gonnaluvit.com/wholesale/images/marquee_opal_silver_ring.jpg

  • PinkWrx 9:04 pm on December 26, 2009 |

    I think you can chose whatever type of ring you want for your engagement. You’re the one wearing it, so it should be something you like. It’s funny that you said about people not recognizing a non-diamond ring as an engagement ring…my ring has 5 round diamonds across and people don’t even realize I’m engaged because it’s not the typical solitare diamond. I think an emerald ring would be really pretty!

  • IamMARE 9:04 pm on December 26, 2009 |

    I feel the same way, but none the less, I wanted a diamond. I got one that is certified mined in Canada - no "Blood Diamonds" for me! And it was a lot less expensive.

  • Diane B 9:04 pm on December 26, 2009 |

    I think you should discuss the ring you choose to wear on your finger with your fiancee to be because it is a very personal choice and should include the two of you. But I agree engagement rings should be as unique as the couple and don’t have to be diamonds. Mine just happened to be a cluster of diamonds from 125 years ago that no more resemble an engagement ring than the man in the moon. However in it’s defence, it was made before all these diamond problems arose, so I don’t feel badly about wearing it.

  • Nicole L 9:04 pm on December 26, 2009 |

    I once picked out a dark blue sapphire ring instead of a diamond. Hey, the man didn’t work out, but the ring was gorgeous! And people did notice that ring because of where it was on my hand, and they commented about the beautiful change of pace!

  • hails 9:04 pm on December 26, 2009 |

    i think it would be good evne though diamonds are a girls best friend you have to like what you have you will basically have it 4 ever so hey if you want emeralds go for it thet are so pretty

  • callingmrsjones 9:04 pm on December 26, 2009 |

    I do have an engagement ring with a diamond but if I had this conversation with my fiance I like the idea of instead of having a diamond, having a ring with the gemstone of the month we are getting married. That’s what I like.
    But why would it matter if no one else saw your ring for what it is? I’m sure they will when you are wearing a band with it. In the mean time I think should should enjoy your uniqueness and get an emerald!

  • Em C 9:04 pm on December 26, 2009 |

    Diamonds were not always the traditional engagement ring stone of choice. They became most popular when the Debeer’s company started to market them. My great-grandmother recieved an engagment ring that was made from rubies. Diamonds are usually chosen by brides because of their beauty and durability, but there is nothing wrong with chosing another stone. There is a diamond from Canada that is called the Polar Bear and Polar Ice diamond that are minded from environmentally proected mines which you could consider looking into as well.

  • C.J 9:04 pm on December 26, 2009 |

    My engagment ring is mostly amythesy and I am having a plain gold wedding band.
    It really doesn’t matter what it looks like. You and your partner are the one who has to choose it and as long as you like it who cares?!
    Anyways, diamonds don’t suit everyone

  • Mathie 9:04 pm on December 26, 2009 |

    I have a beautiful light blue sapphire. My mom has a dark blue sapphire. My grandmother has an emerald. None of us are really into diamonds. I love my sapphire and wouldn’t want any other ring. My fiance knew I wanted something that wasn’t a diamond. I’m just not a diamond person. I wanted something that reminded me of him. He has bluish eyes and sapphire is his birthstone so it’s great. When people find out I’m engaged they want to see the ring and many are surprised that it’s different but I’ve gotten good compliments. If you don’t want a diamond then don’t get one. Some people want clear diamonds because they are the hardest stone and because they say it goes with every outfit. Personally, I don’t care if my ring doesn’t match my outfit specifically. I’m engaged and am excited to get married. Make sure you get a hard stone that will last though. Make sure you and/or your fiance talk to the jeweler about how long the stone should last and what to look for to make sure it doesn’t break. I know sapphires and rubies (which are red sapphires) are a 9, emerald is between a 7 and an 8, and a diamond is a 10.

    Here’s some hardness scales for gemstones:
    http://www.indygem.com/coloredstone_properties.htm
    http://www.18carat.co.uk/hardnessmohsscale.html
    http://www.altobelli.com/html/mohs_scale.html

  • Sustagurl2 9:04 pm on December 26, 2009 |

    Mam, my thoughts are this:

    If you ared dead-set against diamonds then opt for Cubic Zirconia Or Australian Crystal.

  • nova_queen_28 9:04 pm on December 26, 2009 |

    For the same reasons as well as insance prices, my engagement ring is a BEAUTIFUL aquamarine. My fiance did insist on diamonds on the sides, they are small but clustered so they sparkle very nicely.

  • A Nonny Mouse 9:04 pm on December 26, 2009 |

    My engagement ring is two heart shaped stones-a garnet for my hubby (jan b.d.) and a peridot for me (aug b.d.) in a twist setting, yellow gold, accented with seven round diamonds , one for each day of the week. Not your traditional diamond engagement ring and not a traditional solitaire either……and I wear it with my wedding band…and people know right off the bat it’s an engagement ring..

    real emeralds are expensive and are not clear…they tend to be cloudy or milky and the ones with that deep green color are rare and very expensive….lab created emeralds are real emeralds without the milky color and inclusions….and are beautiful…..there are many other green stones as well….

    …just got a solitaire to wear with my fancy wedding band for christmas-a real 4 carat brazillian green quartz ( they can be created by heating amethysts to turn them green, as the real ones are rare-called prasilolite when heat created) and it’s pale minty green color is absolutely stunning, like fresh water flowing over ice..if you like pastel gemstones…I get asked if it’s a colored diamond all the time…nope.

    So wear what you want and it doesn;t matter if others can tell it’s an engagement ring or not….you know it is and that’s all that matters…..Good Luck.

  • Chiricana 9:04 pm on December 26, 2009 |

    A ring is just a symbol. It should be meaningful to you and you shouldn’y have to worry about what others think. They will be happy that you are happy, and will probably enjoy looking at your ring all the more because it is different. Do what is meaningful for you and your soon-to-be.

  • Peace 9:04 pm on December 26, 2009 |

    There are so many choices it’s ridiculous. Find a setting you like and put a gem in it. That’s what my husband did - I have a Sapphire engagement ring. More and more people are using gems instead of the typical diamond, so people shouldn’t be too confused.

  • ditzwannabe 9:04 pm on December 26, 2009 |

    OH my gosh I love that you think differently!! I like diamonds but I hate the traditional look of the solitare diamond engagement ring. So alternative is fabulous! If you love emeralds then get an emerald. You are the one who is going to have to look at it forever! Who cares if it doesn’t fit the norm. Your real friends will realize that your ring is supposed to represent you. This site was pointed out to me awhile back for the more untraditional brides and it is fabulous.
    http://www.offbeatbride.com
    S
    ome of the people who will give you advice on here are stuffy. Yay for being modern and getting what you want! That wesite I showed you will probably even make you feel tame compared to some of the crazy weddings on there.

    Bottom line it’s your ring so get what you like!

  • dkmch749 9:04 pm on December 26, 2009 |

    Depends on your priorities. Is it necessary that "most people" wouldn’t recognize a non-diamond ring for what it is to you and your love one. There are many people who don’t get any kind of an engagement ring. Get or do whatever symbolizes the two of you and your special relationship. If you don’t get an engagement ring now and just have wedding bands, perhaps as the years go by there will come a time when you might want to add a gem ring of some kind (maybe even design one) that holds memories of not only your wedding but the years you already have spent together and the many years to come. Remember, with your engagement and wedding planning it’s important that you do it the way you want it and not follow cultural traditions. Believe me, it’s more important that a couple realize the true importance of the sacred oath they are taking than anything else concerning the engagement /wedding plans. It is for "better or worse………….until death do you part." And marriage does contain the good as well as the tough times! Whatever you decide to do I wish you two the very best! God Bless your life together.

  • kiki 9:04 pm on December 26, 2009 |

    I hear ya girl. I hate diamonds for a number of reasons.

    Your choices are these:
    1. A "fake" diamond…CZ or moissanite. If you’re into moissanite (my ring is this, it’s great) check out http://www.moissanitediamond.com. A moissanite is just as strong as a diamond, which is important.
    2. A gemstone….if you want this *DO YOUR RESEARCH*. Many gemstones are NOT as strong as you’ll need for daily wear. Many gemstones will change color (with light, water, etc etc).
    3. No stone….many engagement rings can be made without stones, if you’re willing to look around. If you like "Celtic" styles, there are numerous sites out there.

    Bottom line, I’d go with a moissanite (sorry, I’m biased lol). It looks like a diamond, acts like a diamond, but has no negative stigmas attached to it…unless you’re a materialistic snob (which it sounds like you most definitely aren’t).

    Good luck :)

    ADD: Sorry, sent the wrong link. Go here: http://www.moissanitediamond.com/

  • Trixie 9:04 pm on December 26, 2009 |

    There is nothing wrong with being different. You should get wut you like! You have to wear it for the rest of your life, so it should be something you like!!

  • Mrs B 8-16-08 9:04 pm on December 26, 2009 |

    It’s perfectly acceptable to have a non-diamond engagement ring. Heck…if I see any ring on the left ring finger I usually assume it’s an engagment and/or wedding band. Do what makes you happy (and I do love emeralds by the way).

  • ~Miss Butterfly~ 9:04 pm on December 26, 2009 |

    When my fiance and I got engaged a couple of years ago, I made a huge deal about getting a diamond engagement ring because I also thought that it might be the only stone recognized as an engagement ring, and I wanted to be traditional, ect..

    Looking back, I kind of felt foolish for wanting a diamond so bad and kind of wished that I would have gone with a colored gemstone instead, those are unique and also would have cost us less money. When looking for a wedding band, we came across a gold estate wedding band with pink sapphires and bought it for less than a plain gold band would have cost.

    I say colored gem stones all the way! :)

  • Leo 9:04 pm on December 26, 2009 |

    My fiance bought me an emerald engagement ring, and I absolutely love it. Much like you, I was concerned about conflict stones. Honestly, as well, I’ve never cared for diamonds. I just don’t get the appeal.

    Many times, people don’t realize that my ring *is* an engagement ring, but then, most people do not actually realize that another person is even *wearing* a ring until it is pointed out to them. When they find out I am engaged, and they ask to see the ring, the will often comment on how nice it is that my fiance new my preferences and my personality well enough not to choose the traditional route. I have never had a bad comment, and am often applauded for my fiance’s choice.

    I would say go with what ever stone (or even stoneless ring) you like the best. Also, there are a few precious gem mines scattered about where you can actually do your own searching for stones. Then, you can have a stone set that you or your fiance found specifically with the engagement in mind. (Plus, it’s just fun to do, and you know where the stone came from!)

  • tineyfiney 9:04 pm on December 26, 2009 |

    If you like emeralds, you should get an emerald ring :)

  • learning_to_live_616 9:04 pm on December 26, 2009 |

    There are very good laboratory-made diamonds these days. Perhaps you could get a different type of real stone, with some laboratory-made diamond accents to make it more recognizable as an engagement ring.

    I would love an engagement ring with sapphire or ruby and diamond accents.

  • loukix 9:04 pm on December 26, 2009 |

    Hi!

    I’m considering getting a ring for myself because my boyf never seems to get around to it. :-P

    Here are two companies who use ethically obtained gold - you can even recycle friends and families old rings into your new one - and ethically and environmentally friendly gems, including new created diamonds which even valuers and jewellers cant tell from mined ones. They’re created in a lab under pressure so they are exactly the same, just no need for a gapiing dangerous hole in the ground to get them out.

    http://www.credjewellery.com

    http://www.greenkarat.com

    Read the testimonials!

  • Kathleen M 9:04 pm on December 26, 2009 |

    actually many antiqhe rings don’t have a diamond center stone

  • Mike 9:04 pm on December 26, 2009 |

    Engagement rings are a totally unnecessary embellishment, and they’re a remnant of the gender-divided past.

    Only the wedding rings hold any significance, and that significance is symbolic. Please don’t be the type who *needs* the engagement ring and an expensive ring at that.

  • Lydia 9:04 pm on December 26, 2009 |

    There are conflict free diamonds available, no problem -
    http://www.polarbeardiamond.com/index.html
    But there is nothing wrong with getting a cz, or any gemstone. Emeralds are beautiful! Then you have to decide if you want a mined emerald (could be same ethical probs as with diamonds) or a manmade/simulated.
    http://www.mysolitaire.com/Jewelry/JewelryDetails/Template4.aspx?refid=Search&Item_ID=3698
    http://www.mysolitaire.com/Jewelry/JewelryDetails/Template4.aspx?refid=Search&Item_ID=3687
    http://www3.jcpenney.com/jcp/Products.aspx?ItemID=13a60dd&ItemTyp=G&GrpTyp=PRD&ShowMenu=T&ShopBy=0&SearchString=emerald+rings&RefPage=SearchDepartment.aspx&CmCatId=SearchResults&Search1Prod=True
    Unfortunately, it seems to me the prettiest emerald rings are those paired with diamond accents! This would be my choice -
    http://www3.jcpenney.com/jcp/Products.aspx?ItemID=11d1a8e&ItemTyp=G&GrpTyp=PRD&ShowMenu=T&ShopBy=0&SearchString=emerald+rings&RefPage=SearchDepartment.aspx&CmCatId=SearchResults&Search1Prod=True
    However, good luck to your bf in choosing the ring!

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