• What is a reasonable amount for a guy who makes $30k/yr. to spend on an engagement ring?

    11:05:34 pm on January 16, 2010 | by bianca |
    Tags: , , ,

    My fiance bought me a 0 engagement ring/wedding ring set. He said that was all he could afford at the time. He owes k in credit card bills, so that seemed justified. He bought a 0 canoe a week later. Now he says he’s buying a gun with next years’s tax return(to shoot for fun), and saving 00 in the next two years to buy a computer. I feel really bad for thinking it, but even his camera is worth 00. Opinions?

     

Answers

  • CBT Princess 11:05 pm on January 16, 2010 |

    I think the bigger issue is his credit problems and spending. I would think about credit counseling before marrying this man, or you may have some very serious issues once your money is also "his"

  • Brian A 11:05 pm on January 16, 2010 |

    My opinion is that your fiance may be a great person, but he appears to be horrible with money. I would be thinking long and hard about what that is going to mean for your future.

    Edit: wow, 3 thumbs up for the judgmental first answer. Look at the bigger issue here folks. The dude has $15K in credit card bills, but already has plans for NEXT year’s tax refund.

  • Blunt 11:05 pm on January 16, 2010 |

    $600 on his budget seems reasonable to me

    What is disturbing is to see that he’s deep in debt and spending on unnecesary items for himself.

    All red flags are up!

  • Dana D 11:05 pm on January 16, 2010 |

    Personally, I would be very concerned with this man’s credit situation. He owes half his income on credit cards, yet he is spending freely on recreational items?

    You need to have a very serious talk with him about his financial priorities. If you are uncomfortable speaking with him about money, you are absolutely not prepared to be married.

  • My Three 11:05 pm on January 16, 2010 |

    it seems like you are more into the money and not the meaning behind it.

  • Lilly 11:05 pm on January 16, 2010 |

    I could understand where you are coming from. An engagement ring is suppose to be the first splurge a guy makes to commit his love to his partner yet, he spend double the amount he spent on yours, on a camera. Maybe you should talk to him about it, I don’t know what else to say :(

    ADD: I’m thinking people missed the part that said.."he said that’s all he could afford…" obviously that’s not all he can afford when he is spending so much on other things!

  • carlisias 11:05 pm on January 16, 2010 |

    The rule is a guy should spend two pay checks for an engagement ring.

  • oy vey 11:05 pm on January 16, 2010 |

    He has over half of his annual income in credit card debt?!?

    Not a rocket scientist is he? Seriously, that amount of debt is just asking for trouble. I’d be less concerned about how much he spent on your ring, but what else is there-what other bills are eating away his check?

    He owes half of what he makes to credit cards…that’s just ridiculous!

    You need a financial advisor before even thinking of marrying this guy!

    Edit**Seriously, think about this…he only makes 30k and that’s before taxes…figure close to 30% in taxes…9k…so he only is bringing home around 21k after taxes and with the debt you listed that would put him closer to owing 18k including the ring, the canoe, and the camera! This guy is bad news….that debt is your debt the moment you say I do!

  • ♥Kaitlin 11:05 pm on January 16, 2010 |

    My opinion is this:

    A ring should be a symbol of his love and commitment. The price-tag should be a non-issue. I would rather focus our money on other expenditures: a house down payment, savings, a nice item or two, etc rather than on a ring. A ring doesn’t keep you warm at night, give you shelter, feed you, love you, or protect you. My fiance’ chose the VERY ring I wanted, and didn’t even know it: a $210 1/5 Marquise-cut diamond solitaire in a 2mm white gold band. I’m more about class than cost, so it suits me perfectly =] He’s spent more on other things, but all necessities like a car for me. I never once felt ashamed of my ring or angry over what he chose to buy.
    He loves you, and wants to spend his life with you. What could be more important than that?
    If anything, I would be considered about his over-spending, and the fact that instead of concentrating his money on paying off debt, he’s accumulating more.

  • mommyme 11:05 pm on January 16, 2010 |

    First off all did he tell you it was a 600 ring. Or did you sneak around trying to find out how much it cost? I think he need to pay off his 15k in bills and then later you can get a better ring

  • roxxn 11:05 pm on January 16, 2010 |

    I’m sorry to hear that you may have become obsessed with money and rings. Your engagement ring represents a commitment, not diamond value.

    If he’s careless with money or spends it recklessly then that’s an issue that should be addressed as a couple who is going to get married and expenditures like that cannot happen, especially with a wedding and a lifetime of marriage expenses coming up. But to think of the value of the ring every time he spends money is not healthy and will define you in a way that I truly hope you won’t want to be defined as.

    Make wise decisions and aim to be wiser everyday.

  • pendleton4068 11:05 pm on January 16, 2010 |

    u are high maintenance , he needs too curb YOU

  • 08/31/08 Bride to be 11:05 pm on January 16, 2010 |

    WOW, My fiance makes around 42,000 a year. At the time he bought the ring he was making 35,000. He had too had debt from his college years and student loans up to 15000. However I got a half caret round engagement ring for a little over 1800 dollars. You have a right to be upset, it’s poor planning on his part and shows to me that he is bit selfish. To me it shows what is important to him…but hey atleast you got the ring. Some women don’t even get that.

  • Blueberry 11:05 pm on January 16, 2010 |

    Keep in mind that that 15k in bills will be your 15k in bills when you marry.

  • TotalRecipeHound 11:05 pm on January 16, 2010 |

    If he is buying all this stuff and has $15K in credit card bills, I’d give him the ring back and tell him you will find someone who actually can manage their own money. You marry him, you will get his debt. Been there done that and thankfully, was able to get an annulment!

  • pinkpanther 11:05 pm on January 16, 2010 |

    honestly, i wouldnt care how much he spend on the ring. im sure he will be spending a lot of money on other wedding stuff, like wedding hall, help you pay for the dress, caterer, and etc.

  • Just Me 11:05 pm on January 16, 2010 |

    sounds like he has a spending problem. he might really only be able to spend that much on a ring. if I had 15k in debt I wouldn’t be spending money on the finer things in life. Maybe he can’t afford what he is buying but he just gets what he wants. I understand you being worried but the ring is a symbol, I would be more worried about his debt and spending.

  • Lyra 11:05 pm on January 16, 2010 |

    Honestly, you’ve got no right to expect him to spend ANYTHING on a ring. It’s not a must have, it’s a bonus. My fiance earns £25,000 ($50,000), and he spent £100 ($200) on my engagement ring. It doesn’t mean he loves you any less, it just means that he’s human and wants things. Put yourself in his situation. Is it fair that he feels he has to spend more on a ring for you? I don’t think so. I personally would be happy with what I’ve got.

  • Luna 11:05 pm on January 16, 2010 |

    i can understand where your coming from… if he spent 600$ on your ring, and that was his splurge and he’s working hard at paying off his debt than fine…. but he spent 600 on your ring and 450 on a canoe and a gun and a computer and 12 on a camera….. well that’s different… he obviously could of spent more on your ring then…. he could just be clueless… but it sounds like he doesn’t care much about his money and how he spends it and that could be a much bigger issue for you guys… your marrying someone with half their income in debt, will you be picking up the slack? paying the bills while he buys canoes??? you should focus on that aspect of things before you get to the ring. remember when his debt is all cleaned up he can make it up to you on an anniversary :) but i can understand how you would be bothered. there’s other issues to focus on with this situation first though.

  • pusskinboots 11:05 pm on January 16, 2010 |

    How materialistic are you? You seem far too preoccupied with money. Surely what should matter is the fact that he has asked you to marry him, to spend the rest of your lives together?
    If the ring he has bought you is not good enough, then buy your own!!!!! I think your partner would be hurt if he knew you were so mercenary.

  • wwetna_fan 11:05 pm on January 16, 2010 |

    I think alot of you are being way too harsh on her. It seems like she’s questioning how important she really is to him if he can spend all kinds of money on other things but apparently had a tight budget a ring she is planning on wearing for the rest of her life. She should be more important than a canoe, a gun or a computer! I do agree that he needs to learn to budget his money better though - that’s really important for anyone planning on getting married.

  • sarcoplasm 11:05 pm on January 16, 2010 |

    You need to love him and be happy for the GIFT, or walk away. His finances are none of your business. You buy expensive stuff for yourself too, I bet. Would you be happy if he said you couldn’t anymore.

    Why would anyone even ASK how much a GIFT cost? How rude!

    Did you ask him the price before you accepted?

    If money is the only thing that matter to you, then you better find a different man, because it doesn’t seem like its HIS first priority.

  • apbanpos 11:05 pm on January 16, 2010 |

    This isn’t about a tit-for-tat amount. He shouldn’t be spending any money in his situation.

    His spending in general on a $30K income w/debt speaks to a much bigger problem - that will become your problem.

    I’d be much much more concerned about the fact that he seems to be living outside his means - which will soon be outside your means - and once you are married then you are looking at a huge financial burden.

    He needs to grow up.

    EDIT: Legally - his debt won’t become your debt, technically. However, whatever income he has will go towards his debt and your income will then be used for all joint purposes, meaning you will be supporting him 100%. And yet, if you divorce things will be slit 50/50 even though you will have contributed more. AND if he incurs MORE debt WHILE married, that will become a problem for you.

  • Garnet Glitter 11:05 pm on January 16, 2010 |

    At least you know it’s his canoe, gun, and future computer that’s gonna get him into serious debt, not your engagement ring………………..

  • Lainey Judith 11:05 pm on January 16, 2010 |

    I don’t care about the price of the ring…. heck all I wanted was a $350 one!
    What does worry me is that all he plans to do is spend, spend, spend.
    My guy makes around the same a year, and he had a few thousand dollars in credit card debt. He also got a $1,300 toy (stupid paintball gun) but now, all we’ve done is save, save, save….
    This year’s tax return AND Refund are all going to pay off the debt.
    Just be careful, cause it doesn’t seem like he’s looking to paying that off anytime soon, and once you get married, it’s sorta your debt too….
    Your money will be helping to pay off HIS debt.
    I don’t have a problem helping my hubby, cause he’s helped me more than anyone could imagine, but if you are resenting him NOW for it, it’s only going to get worse once you are married.
    Tread CAREFULLY friend….tread carefully

  • Dizzy_Lizzy 11:05 pm on January 16, 2010 |

    If the man in question owes half his annual salary in credit card bills and keeps buying frivolous stuff anyway, the answer is ZERO. Someone who manages money that poorly doesn’t strike me as someone worth marrying.

  • Sandy Ego 11:05 pm on January 16, 2010 |

    What do you expect him to do?

    Spend EVERY single available penny on your ring?

    Girl, get real. The ring is only a small part of your joint reality. Sounds like he can healthily balance his responsibilities between his debts, his relationship and his hobbies. $600 was plenty reasonable to spend on a ring for a guy with a limited income like his. He sounds like a responsible person who knows when to spend and when to save. Congrats on finding a great fiancé. If you want to "upgrade" your ring, you can do it at a later time - say, for your 5th or 10th anniversary, when both of you are further along in your careers and are making more money.

    P.S. Yes, he has some debt, but as long as he is paying it off in a responsible manner doesn’t mean he shouldn’t be saving money to buy a computer, or buy discretionary items every once in a while. I agree with the others that if his debt accumulates faster than he’s paying it off, the problem is much bigger than the price of the ring. However, I can’t judge his spending habits being that I have no idea where the credit card debt came from. I know people who are paying off medical debts and such, and having a debt doesn’t automatically mean you are bad with money. From your question it sounds like he plans big purchases around the money he has instead of charging them on the card - which is good.

  • Sunny 11:05 pm on January 16, 2010 |

    my hubby makes around that and the ring he bought me was around $1000. they say now a days men should spend about 2 weeks to a one month paycheck. i think $600 is okay but that sucks that he’s spending so much money on other things.

  • Pebbles 11:05 pm on January 16, 2010 |

    I think the problem is more that he is spending all that money when he has credit card debt than that he only spent a reasonable amount on your ring. $650 is a reasonable price to pay for a ring for someone not particularly well off.

  • marietta 11:05 pm on January 16, 2010 |

    A lot of people are being waaaaay too harsh on you.
    Yes, you have the right to expect an engagement ring, period. It’s pretty standard nowadays, and I don’t know many people who wouldn’t want one. It’s a symbol for so many people that means "the engagement is official", because of course when you tell someone you’re engaged they ask to see the ring.

    Yes I agree that you should be worried about his debt and spending patterns but way too many people have already addressed this.

    Since you are probably intending to wear this ring every day for the rest of your life, you are allowed to want something beautiful. I’m sure he wants you to love it as well. Now if you truly love it the cost shouldn’t be an issue. And I don’t think you’re actually worried, just looking for opinions.
    In my opinion, considering his salary and what he has spent recently, $600 for a wedding SET sounds cheap. Add his debt into the picture and it’s more acceptable, but still disappointing. I’m assuming the $1200 camera is an SLR and lenses, which are always expensive, I really hope photography is really a serious hobby of his and this is not just his daily point-and-shoot camera.
    Maybe he decided spur of the moment to propose and bought a ring very quickly, maybe thats why thats all he could "afford at the time".
    You shouldn’t feel bad for thinking it, but if the issue continues to nag at you, talk to him.

    And also, girls who are saying you are greedy or whatever, maybe they don’t care about having a ring, but I understand why you care so much. For me, jewellery is what I collect, so it’s all fine quality with real stones, etc. Thats why, if we start to earn much more money, my fiance and I might invest in a second wedding set for me. Which I’m sure many people think is greedy as well. I do say INVESTMENT because a ring doesn’t lose value like a CAR or a CANOE or a COMPUTER. So, if times to get desperate, it is pawnable, or resellable, or whatever, though I hope none of us ever get to that point.

    It does sound like he is bad with managing his money, so maybe you should help him out and teach him to prioritize on his debt, not on his hobbies for a while.
    Good luck!

  • Lydia 11:05 pm on January 16, 2010 |

    What you got is awesome and very generous! Wow!
    Lucky you!
    He’s a single man and can do what he wants with his money.
    You can, too. If you NEED more bling, save your money and buy yourself a kickin’ dress ring!
    Good luck to your fiance.
    Please show him your posting here, and the answers listed!

  • Sergey Kapustin 11:05 pm on January 16, 2010 |

    Tell him that he can save a lot when purchasing a diamond ring by buying online a loose diamond separately from a ring setting.

    Suggest him this web-service: http://www.diamondpriceguru.com

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