• What is the proper wedding etiquette for rehearsal dinner familial contributions?

    10:26:46 pm on March 9, 2010 | by bianca |
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    My fiance and I are planning a wedding and his parents aren’t in a very good financial way. We know where we’d like to have it and that we’d like to keep it intimate. We were wondering how we should ask if they would like to contribute without offending them and how much say they should have in how / where we have the rehearsal dinner.

    We’re planning on paying for everything ourselves and we would leave it at that but we know they want to contribute in some way so how do we bring it up?

     

Answers

  • Annabella 10:26 pm on March 9, 2010 |

    Ask them to pay for one thing or do one thing. If you know they can’t afford much but their pride makes them want to contribute, then tell them they can pay for the wedding cake. Or tell them that instead of contributing financially, you would like it if someone could help you print programs, or menu cards, or be in charge of the guest book. Something like that. There are several ways to contribute to a wedding that don’t involve money.

  • thedreamweaverwolf 10:26 pm on March 9, 2010 |

    Ask them if they could leave the tip for the dinner or you could have a nice dinner at your house

  • Chelsrageous! 10:26 pm on March 9, 2010 |

    Just ask if they would like to contribute or if they can afford too, but make sure to let them know that if they are unable to that you are alright with that because you don’t want to put anymore financial strain on them then they already have. Well keep in subtle.

  • Vashti 10:26 pm on March 9, 2010 |

    The etiquette rule is that parents help if they can. They are not required to help pay for their children’s weddings (in the US).

    If they are able to help, they’ll let you know. Please don’t ask and put them on the spot.

    If they’re not in very good shape financially, all asking is going to do is make them feel worse about their situation than they probably already do.

    Don’t say anything, pay for the wedding as planned and allow the groom’s parents to attend without feeling embarrassed that they couldn’t help pay for it.

  • Kristy 10:26 pm on March 9, 2010 |

    I would not ask them if they want to contribute. If your fiance wants to ask that’s one thing, but you should not. You can bring up wedding plans, talk about the venue with your future mother in law and vendors then bring up where you were thinking of having the rehearsal dinner and see if she says anything about contributing then, they are not going to contribute. But if they can’t afford it I wouldn’t ask them to begin with, just pay for it your self.

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